Parents obsess over how to get their kids to sleep through the night, how to get them to sleep until an hour that isn’t completely ungodly, what time to put them to bed, and when to move them from cribs into real beds, reports New York magazine.

There are days, now that I am a mother who works full-time, when I get to 7 p.m. and think to myself, “I am empty. I’m ready for bed.”

This is a full hour before my 2-and-a-half-year-old’s bedtime at 8 p.m. At this time of year, it’s still light out. But being ready to retire before my baby has become a running joke I have with myself. Occasionally there are days when I just give in: I put her to bed, shower, and go to bed for the night at 8:30. It’s rare, and I always feel ridiculous. But I wake up feeling like I’m 18 again. Because the truth is, sometimes I run myself a little ragged putting her needs before my own, which is kind of inevitable, but still damaging to my well-being.

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